anthropos's Revelife

It's been a long time

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 18:41:20 GMT

Just to warn you, there is absolutely no point or goal in my mind as I'm writing this now. I have a lot of thoughts going through my head, and I just want to vomit them somewhere :)

Life has been busy...so busy. I never dreamed that my entire life would change as drastically as it has since I've been here in TF. I was just going through OLD letters that Lissy sent me, birthday and Christmas cards from years past from a combination of people and I just come back to thinking about my journey with the Lord Jesus thus far.

Every year, I store the most precious things I own in some boxes and open them up once I move into my new place, and I just had a beautiful realization, this year I can take them all home....
I'm not feeling homesick or lonely, I'm feeling like I can't believe how much change has been instigated by the past few years. I'm in awe...

My life was...not something I was very informed about. I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school; to be honest, I never thought about it. I did want to move to Chicago, start a band and life the dream from there with my best friend at the time but that fell through before my Junior year in high school. I wanted to be a Marine, mostly for selfish reasons. Probably to get attention from girls, kind of like when you get a cast and suddenly you're surrounded with attention/affection, but as I reflect now, I do want to join the Marines - to witness to brothers who have a lesser chance of living than the civilian does. I want to give them the hope that I have. The hope in the gospel of Christ.

I started college really not knowing anything about careers, other than the fact that I needed one. I wanted to get married, I was so desperate for love it was pathetic. No, really; not putting myself down, I would lay down my life for a drop of true love, but it never satisfied...because I never found love that lasts. I wanted to do cardiology, sociology, chemistry, biology, criminal justice, business, I was all over the place. I thought my girlfriend at the time had more of a leg up than I did at life. There wasn't much I was interested in, other than sex, cigarettes, music and money. Let me tell you this now, I didn't care about any one of those subjects which I studied my first semester of college; I just wanted something to pay the bills and to quiet my parents. I thought I was a follower of Christ since the following summer, but my actions canceled out any good deed I had invested; I was living the life of a two-faced cultural Christian. I couldn't really read the Bible very well, could not interpret it for myself, I really didn't want to read it everyday (and sometimes I still don't, only because I'm stubborn still)

I'm really trying to find my journey here. I've always been encouraged by my friends from church, and even inspired from friends of other churches. I loved the summer of my transition to TFC, it was my most prized memory (aside from many new ones, such as the beginning of my courtship with Lissy) along with the memories that came from the summer camp which Beau and Steven led, "The Refining."

The Refining was the most life changing event of my life. Seriously, it was then that Mike and I had become not only best friends, but a ministry team - ones who would keep one another accountable and share the desire to grow in our faith. I liked Mike alot, he's always been an amazing friend. No matter how stupid our decisions have been, he's always been at my side. We argued a lot, but what good friendship doesn't? If I didn't have Mike along my side when we began ministry, I would have faded back into my old life, I know it. I wasn't much of an example for God, but I always wanted to try a bit harder every time I learned more about Him. Mike and I would do everything together, from wasting time around the local university to attempting to evangelize the local mall; you name it, we tried it. It was always together or nothing in the beginning of my journey in faith. I had been baptized into Christ, but I didn't understand a thing about what I did, other than get baptized. I remember Mike and I serving together in middle and high school ministry, on worship teams, in discipleship groups, we probably spent 6 days out of the week at church; we weren't on staff either. Kinda crazy as I think about it.

I don't think I'll continue writing about my journey just yet, I feel the need to focus on the Lord.

Pray

So,

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 20:15:20 GMT

I'm not exactly naked.

I'm 19 years old, and I am optimistic about the future. After God has been showing me exactly what I have and where I am to be, I feel completely lost and unworthy. God has gifted me in two areas: preaching and discipleship. I want to refine these skills, I want to be tested but at the moment I fail at minuet things. I want to post Scripture here, and just meditate:

Revelation 3

To the Church in Sardis

¹"To the angel^[a] of the church in Sardis write:
These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits^[b]of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. ²Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. ³Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you. ⁴Yet you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their clothes. They will walk with me, dressed in white, for they are worthy. ⁵He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels. ⁶He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

To the Church in Philadelphia

⁷"To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write:
These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. ⁸I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. ⁹I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you. ¹⁰Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come upon the whole world to test those who live on the earth. ¹¹I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown. ¹²Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will he leave it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name. ¹³He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

To the Church in Laodicea

¹⁴"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. και τω αγγελω της εν λαοδικεια εκκλησιας γραψον ταδε λεγει ο αμην ο μαρτυς ο πιστος και [ο] αληθινος η αρχη της κτισεως του θεου¹⁵I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! ¹⁶So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. ¹⁷You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. ¹⁸I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. ¹⁹Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. ²⁰Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. ²¹To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. ²²He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."

Convicting.
God has blessed you and me, I don't want to be lukewarm. I'm about to go into work, I will work with a servant's heart. I'm going to talk to my wonderful girlfriend tonight, with a servant's heart. I want to serve the Lord and grow in relation to Him. A lot of things don't look amazing when you dissect my heart, but God will transform me. I want to impact millions for the sake of the kingdom, but what does the Lord want for my life? It looks like the next step is the Th.M. Prayerfully, things will happen. I want to be all about people today and tomorrow, but not without the Lord. Grace and peace in the Lord, Jesus Christ.

I want God right here

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 06:09:48 GMT

cause I'm addicted, I'm needy, I'm lost without You.

I'm not completely sure why I'm writing right now. It's 1am, I feel as though time just slips through my fingers like cupping water in your hands. This past vacation, I've lived a ridiculously routine life. Wake up, call people, orchestrate plan, execute plan, go home, go to sleep, repeat.

It drives me nuts. I want to get rid of my cell phone, I'm starting to think my prof was right about cell phones "the concept of having absolutely anyone contact you at anytime is repulsing."

Today, I went to church.
I went to church because I wanted to.
I want share this, I went to church today because I wanted my spontaneous act of service to be worship. An offering to Him only, not because I want to build something, but because I want God to know I love Him more today.

If it sounds like I'm hurting, it's because I feel like I can't articulate my thoughts well. It's frustrating, but I'm sure some may understand. My mind at the moment feels like a sore spot. When I was cleaning my church earlier I felt so much negative feedback inside; Satan over and over kept calling me names that hurt to remember. I couldn't look anyone in the face during this time because I had to scream inside my head that I am not an outwardly religious man, there is a God and His kingdom is my life (that is, service to the king).

I'm not a snobby Bible student
My flesh bleeds as yours does.

I'm fine, I just needed to get this out of my head. Prayer is always appreciated
Matthew 5

Aside from Theology...

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 03:38:26 GMT

This has been my week(s):

1. Finished two books
2. Made decent grades on Law & History (OT) and Greek
3. Working on another book
4. Praying
5. Praying
6. Praying
7. Girlfriend
8. Counseling Group Presentation is over!
9. Receiving a "To Read" list of books
10. Taking the other initiative in my walk with the Lord

These past few weeks have been pretty rough concerning work-load. I still have a few other things to get done, but praise God for the ability and enabling of disciple within me to accomplish all of this, quite seriously. For this past week, God's been tugging on my heart a ton that I wish I could articulate. I'll try and update with more sometime, but here's this weekend's itinerary:

1. Finish "A New Kind of Christian"
2. Read random articles from "Across the Spectrum"
3. Complete reading assignment for Law & History
4. Study for Critical Issues in Theology
5. Read "New Testament Theology" by Joahchim Jeremias
6. Begin paper for Pastoral Methods
7. Attempt to begin paper on Post Modernism

On the best note, my girlfriend's birthday is tomorrow! Celebrating 19 years of birth, and x amount of years walking with the Lord. God is wonderful, even when we don't feel it.

Thank God love is the opposite of emotion

To work I be!

Working for Him,
Dennis

A Step Out

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 02:03:42 GMT

Beginning this blog, I pray that all who read it may not be distracted by the words that I write, thinking that I have turned this journal into a lair where men wear black robes and discuss ancient books by fire light. Mike and I have been planning to do a theological journey in an attempt to find identity within us and with the sole purpose of discovering truth, the real truth. For the next few entries, we’re going to be exploring the five points of Calvinism, TULIP

Total Depravity
Unconditional Election
Limited Atonement
Irresistible Grace
Perseverance of the Saints

Tonight, we tackle Total Depravity:

Sin has affected all parts of man. The heart, emotions, will, mind, and body are all affected by sin. We are completely sinful. We are not as sinful as we could be, but we are completely affected by sin.
The doctrine of Total Depravity is derived from scriptures that reveal human character: Man’s heart is evil (Mark 7:21-23) and sick (Jer. 17:9). Man is a slave of sin (Rom. 6:20). He does not seek for God (Rom. 3:10-12). He cannot understand spiritual things (1 Cor. 2:14). He is at enmity with God (Eph. 2:15). And, is by nature a child of wrath (Eph. 2:3). The Calvinist asks the question, "In light of the scriptures that declare man’s true nature as being utterly lost and incapable, how is it possible for anyone to choose or desire God?" The answer is, "He cannot. Therefore God must predestine."
Calvinism also maintains that because of our fallen nature we are born again not by our own will but God’s will (John 1:12-13); God grants that we believe (Phil. 1:29); faith is the work of God (John 6:28-29); God appoints people to believe (Acts 13:48); and God predestines (Eph. 1:1-11; Rom. 8:29; 9:9-23).

According to this doctrine, men have no possibility to choose or desire God. Could this be accurate? My answer: One of the fallacies of Calvinism consists of the severe downplay when it comes to free will. I may state whole-heartedly that I am not either Armenian nor Calvinist, but when it comes to contrasting the two, neither really make sense. To maintain a doctrine of Total Depravity suggests (or rather insists) that the free will of man does not exist. I don’t believe that Calvin considers the fact that men may resist the gospel (Luke 10:9-11) as well as the fact that the calling of the kingdom is quite demanding (Luke 9:62, Matthew 11:12, Luke 16:16). I do agree with this concerning that men are by nature children of wrath, however their argument concerning faith being the work of God is weak; I believe faith to be something of free-will. If the faith of one to place into the Creator wouldn’t that remove the significance of faith? If I were to fall in love with my girlfriend because she secretly is a witch and cast a spell on me, would not the love that I offer her be less significant than that if I choose to love her? Our God is a great God worthy of the highest praise, logically I would imagine that the Lord would desire love of the highest significance; of the highest quality, by freewill. Since creation, God has always been the initiator, and I believe that God initiates saving grace for all by the great commission and His own desire (1 Timothy 2:4). Concerning pre-destination, the verse affirming our seal in Christ to be valid, but we must be very careful with this terminology in context of evangelism. My only challenge to all of this would be from Romans 11:23, 25

Though Israel blew it with God, the Gentiles are also to be the people of God. It was never ordained that only Israel was to be God’s people.
1 Corinthians 3:16

To sum this all up, let us affirm that the validity of Calvinist arguments being that man is a slave of sin, he does not seek for God, he cannot understand spiritual things, and is by nature a child of wrath. I seem to be fumbling over pre-destination, however it is biblical and I will side with it; I do not claim to have a complete understand over the area of pre-destination. Read the introduction to Ephesians and see what I mean. This entire course is a summary, a very, very rough sketch of my conclusion of Total Depravity. Most of this argument is valid, however the missing element throughout Calvinism is the free-will of man. We’ll continue to explore this, feel free to drop a comment or correct me.

Let us end with a reminder of Christ’s great love for us, that he has died that we may live. Love one another, and do not neglect your own vineyard ☺

In His Service,
Dennis

a New Journal?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:39:23 GMT

This is interesting, I stumbled across this site somehow through finding Leslie's and I think it might be a good way to keep in contact with some people :)

So this is where it begins, it is Sunday night and I am procrastinating to study for my greek and counseling test tomorrow. I feel like this weekend has been a blur, my roommate left with a bunch of other friends of ours to hang out for the weekend in Augusta, so I stayed behind and studied. If you wonder where my days have been and why I have been so busy, it's school. Period. I'm not complaining about being trained for the future, it sometimes gets lonely though.

God has been really showing me more of His mercy and giving me more confidence in my abilities. I've been doubting a lot about fulfilling my ministry because I've been thinking that there has to have been some mistake, maybe I missed something. Heather, my chapel ministry team leader came up to me after class last week and asked me to meet her early for practice that night. Immediately I thought something bad, but God allowed me to forget about what she said until the evening when we had practice. She took me into a practice room for about a minute (literally) and checked my range. What the meaning of all this was that she wanted to teach me to sing, but more so because she wants to make me a team leader for the chapel worship teams! I'm kind of dying on the inside though, I know for a fact that there is not one thing that I could do to show my gratitude to Christ. I honestly feel like Israel was to God in the Old Testament, quite literally. I suppose my prayers would be similar to that which Jesus instructed the disciples on the night of His betrayal (Matthew 26:41). The spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak. Flesh is such a disgusting word. I don't know what to say to the Christ, I'm speechless.

Things with Lissy are going quite wonderfully. We've both been really busy, she's actually tolerated doing homework with me via webcam because of our disgusting schedules. Good news is that I can see her in about 3 weeks, along with everyone else back at home. I'm trying to maintain a healthy balance of friends and Lissy, it's so far been going well. The most we can do at this point is continue seeking God, because we both know well that we cannot have a courtship without Him. I've learned a few things about Lissy that I definitely can see maturing in her: 1. devotion and 2. trust.

Despite all the things that I've done, she's still wanting to be with me. I find that amazing, me and my roommate Zac often joke about it "You know, I thought (insert girlfriend's name here) was smart, but then she started dating me."

This week is going to be pretty killer.
Monday- Greek and Counseling test
Tuesday- I'm teaching a few minutes of a freshmen spiritual foundations class, working the afternoon
Wednesday-Practice for chapel, vocal lessons, stuff for class (probably chapter sum.), work mornings
Thursday-
Friday-Introduction to Old Testament test, work mornings

Wow. That doesn't sound so bad afterall. I guess this is more the list I'm dreading.
Major Assignments before Thanksgiving:
Book assignment, The Effective Pastor Nov. 18th
Book assignment, The Gospel of the Kingdom and a New Testament Theology Nov. 24th
Book assignment, an Introduction to the Old Testament Historical Books
Paper, Contemporary vs. Traditional Worship...Nov. 20th
Paper, A Response to Post Modernism...Nov. 24th
Test, Critical Issues in Theology

Do me a favor, someone spread some love, or show me some. One thing I hate about all this work is that sometimes you forget why you're doing what you do.

I believe in Christ
You believe in Christ
The Kingdom is here
The Kingdom is to come
Let His will be done

I love you, and I encourage you to love Him today. Carry His burdens, not your own. That, Ladies and Gentlemen is the end of my soapbox. Goodnight.